Are you dating someone?

I get this question all the time. 

Let me just clue you in on my daily schedule.

6am get ready for the day

7am get Esther up and fed

7:30am leave for Nana's

8am arrive at Nana's give Esther kisses. Leave for work

8:30-1:30 ( till 4:30 two days a week) WORK

and so on...

Does it look like I have time to date someone? 

No but seriously I don't need to be with anyone. 

God is my husband. 

Let's be honest God never intended us women to be single parents. 

We need help! And it gets so lonely!!

But God says He will be the widows husband. 

A young mom is a widow. 

During her pregnancy she mourns the lost of the family she always wanted. 

The husband she expected him to be. 

The husband she always dreamed of having. 

What hurts more is when this man leaves after baby.... even when baby number two is born.

God says He will be my Husband and he has stood by this.

He has been by my provider by providing jobs. 

I have never once been jobless. 

He has been my comforter and supporter through my family.

And finally he has been companion and joy through little Esther Rose.

So your answer to wether or not I am dating someone, not exactly. 

I've committed to not dating anyone until Esther is a year and I don't really need anyone right now. 

This is repeated over and over in Songs of Songs

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Song of Songs 2:7

I will meet someone hear on earth. No need to worry about it. No need to looking for it. 

God is filling that need Himself for now. 

My sweet Esther Rose

Words can't even express how much I love this little girl.

Sometimes I get so tired though. My mind is always going. 

I am up at 5 am every morning and I try to be in bed by 9 pm every night.

I work 7 to 8 hours.

In my spare moments I work on my school work.

My goal is to have it finished before the weekend.

This way I can focus on laundry and errands.

I have small amounts of time to myself.

(Look at that little foot!)

But every night when I get her ready for bed

and I snuggle that sweet little thing in for her last feeding of the day

I remember how blessed I really am. 

All the work and exhaustion is worth it.

God has kept all of His promises. 

My heart is overwhelmed with love for the One who is always faithful.

My heart is overwhelmed with the love for my Esther Rose.

God uses all things for good. 

Do you feel His goodness?

Maybe you still need to humble your heart before the One who is always faithful.

Who always keeps His promises.

He's waiting to be your Savior. 

He's waiting to show you His goodness.

He is always faithful.

Just Look At My Life.

Just Look At That Baby's Smile.

Bows

This mommy loves bows

Big Bows

Little bows

Purple Bows

Flower Bows

Even Puff Bows

I love this little baby so much

And her bows!

My Mom

I love this picture. 

I was so happy to have my mom with me when I had Esther.

I was nervous and really had no idea what was truly about to happen.

But my mom stood by me and then she stood by Esther when I couldn't.

I felt relieved knowing my mom was there to comfort Esther.

My mom steps up whenever I need her.

She took over a late night feeding.

She watches Esther while I do school work.

She has always loved me no matter what.

And what means the most 

she simply loves Esther.

I want to be that kind of mom to Esther. 

Shots

This sweet baby had to get five shots today.

This baby!

And of course I cried.

On the way home I got to thinking. When she began crying because of that shot I felt terrible.
I wanted to snuggle her up and make her feel all better.

At that very moment nothing mattered except for her.
I forgot everything else and only focused on this little girl who was looking to me for comfort.

It's so easy to forget what really matters.
You get stuck in routine.
You lose track of reality.

That baby is the only thing that matters.
She's why I'm going to school. Even though I'm exhausted.
She's why I'm switching from full time to part time at work. Even though I should be striving to make more money.
It's why I chose to leave her father. Even though it can be so lonely sometimes.
And why I make a point to work on my relationship with Christ.

Its hard to change.
Sometimes your just to tired to write an essay.
Or its just so lonely without someone there.

When I chose to keep Esther I chose to sacrifice everything I wanted for her.
I chose to make hard changes and work hard on myself.

Are there things you need to change?
Is there someone you need to leave?
Is there something you need to do?

Talk with someone who is wise and has experience in life.


And pray about it.

It doesn't stay difficult forever.
Maybe its time to finally change your life for the better.
Maybe its time to be the person you always wanted to be.

God says, "Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

Love is Patient

I've always felt like I was a patience person. 

I mean I take care of other people's children for living...

And I like it!

But there is a whole new genre of patience when it comes to 3am belly aches!

Its sad really

Esther is crying because her stomach hurts and I'm crying because I just want to sleep.

It's hard not to be really frustrated.

Not frustrated at Esther. Frustrated at the fact that her stomach hurts and its 3am!

I knew I needed something to calm my heart. I can't control her belly aches. 

There is nothing I can do except soothe her.

So I needed to get rid of the frustration. 

And be patient. 

The best place to look for help in all situations is the bible. 

So I looked! 

( I honestly couldn't find anything so I had to ask my dad. I'm still learning.)

What stuck was 1 Corinthians 13:4.

You should really look this verse up! It's all about what love truly looks like. (Google it!)

The part that I most needed at 3am was

Love Is Patient. 

I have to remind myself love is patient. 

Lets be honest. 

I sometimes have to remind myself several times.

Love is patient.

Love is patient.

Love is patient.

Love!

Is!

Patient!

God is so good. And His word is powerful! Repeating those words set my heart at ease.

They remind me that I'm not just a college student.

I'm the mom. I'm the grown up. And I have to get a grip.

Because Esther is a child. 

And I can't control that she has belly aches. 

Just like I won't be able to control the fact that she chose to throw a fit in the middle of Target. 

Esther relies on me and my attitude.

There for I need to remember love is patient. 

And teach her love is patient. It all falls on my shoulders and I have to step up.
I have to do what is best for her.
Even if it means working on myself.
Which is HARD!

Esther has a problem!

Esther has a problem. 

She's been doing it since the day she was born. Her Grammy caught her!

She sneaks it in the middle of the night.

She does it in her car seat when she thinks no one is looking.

She's even been caught doing it in the living room!

Sometimes she even does it while her Auntie is holding her.

My sweet little Esther is a thumb sucker. 

She can't stop!

She won't stop!

In some extreme situations she will even refuse the pacifier!

But lets just be honest... She is so stinkin' cute!

 (You can't tell me that hair isn't cute. I won't believe you!)