Mommy Moment

Like most moms 

All you do all day long is give give give. And while doing this

your doing everything in your power to be perfect. 

My day does not slow down until about 7 or 8pm 

aka BED TIME! 

Sometimes I'm so tired and I'm moving so fast that I tend to turn on auto pilot. 

I'm just trying to make it to bedtime so that I can sit still for a few seconds. 

When I do this I notice three things happen:

1.  I disconnect from people. I'm not as friendly or willing to put time into others. 

I start to feel less like a human and more like a robot.

2. I start stressing over being perfect. 

Making things perfect for Esther, doing a perfect job a work, getting everything done the way they should be, ext.  

3. When I do the two above I end up feeling guilty.

 Like Esther didn't get all of my attention. She didn't get enough of my time. 

I was not perfect enough.

I have a lot of responsibilities. 

I can't stop working and I have to get a degree. 

I need to work hard to accomplish my goals.

Esther's future is to important to give those things up. 

This is just what life looks like for me right now. 

But here is the thing

I am not perfect! I am not a robot! I can't accomplish everything in one day! 

There is a God who is perfect. There is a God who wants to take that stress away. And let me tell you I am giving it to Him! I don't want to strive for perfection because that goal will never be accomplished.

But I need to do something. I need to stop turning on auto pilot. 

This is my life! Some days its hard and others it is easy. 

I need to trust the One who gave me this job.

Who provided a way for me to go to school.

Who loved me enough, trusted me enough, thought I was good enough to be the mother of Esther.

There is no such thing as super mommy, 

but there is such a thing as loving, caring, human mommy.

So starting today, June 12 I am going to make a mommy moment each day for a month.

Wether it is taking Esther to the pool. 

NOT folding the laundry.

OR even better going to see a movie. 

I'm going to do it! 

( I will post them on facebook)

God did not leave me when I spat in His face and did whatever I wanted to no matter how it made Him or my family feel. 

And He isn't about to leave me now.